conflicts
At our youth gathering, we employed effective conflict management strategies to address the minor conflicts that arose. In the lead time, all participating groups engaged in different conflict management strategies, so that everybody was already trained in solving conflicts before the youth gathering started.
We had also discussions about why conflicts arise, how to avoid them, or how to use them in a constructive way to develop common ideas, to become more empathic and tolerant to different living situations. We had exchanges about prejudices and possible personal vulnerabilities, and how those aspects could have an impact on our individual conflict management. We also talked about conflicts we had in our past, and developped ideas how they could have been solved in a more sustainable way. Bit by bit, we all became experts in conflict management.
In case of a conflict, we actively sought a neutral third person to facilitate and moderate discussions, ensuring fairness and balance. Through active listening, the conflicting parties/persons attentively heard and respected each person’s perspective, fostering understanding and empathy. Reframing allowed us to reframe statements and concerns in a more constructive and positive light, promoting productive dialogue. Additionally, we encouraged each other to consider alternative viewpoints, challenging preconceived notions and promoting open-mindedness. These conflict management strategies created a safe and inclusive environment where conflicts were transformed into opportunities for growth, understanding, and collective problem-solving.
In case of necessity, the group leaders and facilitators have also been availible for helping in the conflict management, but as we were already highly trained, there was rarely need for their intervention, and most of the conflicts got solved in a quite early stage.
As we implemented the „random buddy system“ (*By drawing lots, you establish couples of people who are assigned to take care of the emotional well-being of each other, as if they were friends since a long time. You can change buddies after some time. This method is useful for big groups of people who didn’t know each other before, to facilitate and speed up the readjustment process of a constellation or a group. See also: reflection methods), we identified little conflicts in a quite early stadium. One of the predefined tasks of the random buddy was to take care that in case of a conflictual situation of his buddy, an appropriate conflict solution would take place.
language
At the beginning of the youth gathering, we had quite a problem of communication. Speaking English was for everybody more difficult than speaking their native language, and so it happened quite often that bilateral talks were done in the native language. This led to the situation that other participants felt excluded by this behaviour and also started to communicate in their proper language – a situation that nobody was happy about.
This vicious circle was interrupted at the first reflect-and-relax day, where we had long-lasting discussions how we feel about this topic and how we want to change the situation. We agreed on always switch into English as soon as somebody might hear the conversation. This practical rule made us sometimes even change the language in the middle of sentences, and after some days, it got an easy routine.
Concerning the different abilities of speaking English, we implemented hand signs to slow down the speed of speech. As they were quite funny, and a lot of participants used them, communication got quite easy from the second week on, regardless the language level of the person.
sexism
Looking closely into the little daily conflicts we witnessed during the gathering, we noticed that many of them arised from deeply ingrained sexist gender roles and traditional inequalities. One particular discussion revolved around the act of taking off shirts in a gender-mixed group. It became apparent that societal expectations limited female-identified individuals from freely keeping their upper bodies uncovered. Several cis-male born individuals were not aware of their privilege until this conflict arised.
After engaging in thought-provoking discussions, using various methods of discussion in big and small groups, a group consensus emerged: everyone would only remove their shirts if all present individuals felt comfortable doing so. In reality, this was only the case at some swimming events with little groups at the lake. This experience shed light on how normalized inequality had become in our lives. Many of us were surprised by how unquestioningly we had accepted these disparities. It was a wake-up call, urging us to challenge these societal norms and work towards a more inclusive and equal future.
Sexism in handcraft was since the beginning a major topic for the female born participants. As most of the masculine participants did not engage much in sexist discrimination previously, intense discussions evolved arising from the reports of female participants about their experience in handcraft, and society in general. Once this topic was opened, it became visible in nearly every aspect of our social life. We spent hours, comparing our experiences and different perceptions, behaviours and feelings in various situations. At the end, we can’t say that we’re not influenced by sexism any more, but at least, we understood a bit more how we are influenced by social gender norms, and what we could do to diminish them.